I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
