i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
