considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
