im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
