A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize