I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
