If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
