stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
