OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
