I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
