dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
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