Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
