Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
