I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
