It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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