As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
this hospital has no fireball
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
