think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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