When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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