guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
