I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
