I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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