I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
