So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
