UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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