What did we do last night that was yellow?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
