6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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