put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
