dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I would fuck him just for his dog
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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