I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Is Oprah even human
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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