my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
