Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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