We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
