Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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