Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
