do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
