I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Terrible idea I love it
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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