Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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