she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
