i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize