words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
