I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
