Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
