My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
