All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she peed on how many people?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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