I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
