i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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