If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
