Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
