His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Randomize
