Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
