i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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