you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I am naked and annoyed.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
