Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
