he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
