just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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