I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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