that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Randomize
