just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
