Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
