We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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