My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He shit in the fireplace
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
