I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
