i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
