Do you still have your period?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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