i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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