Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
