My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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