I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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