This girl is more easily done than said...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
